Archive for the zombies Category

Bread and Circuses? Sorry, I just want tax cuts

Posted in humor, Music, politics, zombies on February 21, 2009 by trapperKeeper

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I have been working a Pistons’ post, so this post will be short.  Plus, the weather has been too nice to be in front of the computer all day.  Os Mutantes was a Brazilian psychedelic rock band first formed in 1965.  This album, self-titled, released in 1968 was Os Mutantes recording debut.  Enjoy.

Q: How do you destroy a zombie bank?

A: You must destroy the brain

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Dead & Deader (How much did my brain regress?)

Posted in humor, zombies on February 19, 2009 by trapperKeeper

The gore is pretty weak from the beginning. Head shots result in no head explosions. Cheesy lines are uttered way too frequently. Instantly, you are laughing at the move and not with the movie. Not a good sign, but we will see how the rest of it goes. Somehow scorpions are involved. Oh yeah, and the U.S. military and bio-engineering chicanery. The credits are pointless, melodramatic. I realize credits happen at the beginning of the film, but isn’t there a better way to incorporate them into the story.

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Dead and Deader is a true zombie movie, the men do die and come back to life. Dean Cain gets a leading role, and delivers on the potential of the role. The zombies can sometimes talk, have super strength and punishment levels. Eddie Griffin plays the military cook. Cain goes from dead to the walking dead to delivering orders and offering advice, such as “whatever you do, don’t let it bite you” in minutes. Yes, that is right 1990s Superman battles the walking dead while being .  Talk about a self loathing zombie, although he has some attractive opposite sex attention.  Even zombies have needs.  Plus, someone has to be the hero.

Anyways, Zombies barge in and create some chaos.  Zombies are dispatched via fan, meat grinder, and a wicked hatchet throw by the dead Cain who develops a strong urge for red meat. After a quick gorge, his red, demonic eyes fade and he is a rational being again. He is like a zombie Blade. This movie asks you to check logic at the door and indulge in fairly mediocre gore and Dean Cain’s handsome skeletal structure and superb acting abilities.

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Court martialed a long with the cook, they are being escorted into lockup, where Cain goes berserk, freeing them. The white guy-black guy buddy movie territory is entered. Wariness sets in, too many genres and cliches are being tossed about.

Zombies have escaped from the military truck escorting them to a facility. Cain and cook are following behind. Apparently, the infected have incredible hearing. After finding the carnage, they stop off at a local dive bar. Of course, Cain has a craving for red meat, but before that can happen the tables are turned. Cain and cook have been found out due to . Obviously, everybody at the hick bar is armed with some sort of firearm. Unfortunately, they are of little use when zombies come a-knockin’. Necks are feasted upon while Cain and the cook are locked in the freezer. One ruffian gets his groan bitten into.

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The Catch that Saved Pittsburgh

Posted in Music, Photos, zombies on February 5, 2009 by trapperKeeper

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Here are a few more pictures from Discovery Park from the other day. The Steelers’ victory in the Super Bowl inspired today’s album pick for must hear long play thursday, the soundtrack to The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh. During my youth, I lacked cable but still was treated to less than stellar movies on the “free” channels. One weekend afternoon, I was given the gift of The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh. A pretty hilarious movie, starring some NBA talent including Dr. J and Moses Malone, it takes me back to the day when shorts were shorter and professional hoops players were leaner and less tatted.

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http://www.divshare.com/download/6488968-a7e

In other news, road signs around the nation continue to warn of zombies, and even a case of loose raptors. Surely, these are some of the forgotten plagues that troubled ancient Egypt.

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/nation/02/05/0205zombie.html

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Must Hear LP Thursday: Beware Funk Ahead

Posted in Music, zombies on January 29, 2009 by trapperKeeper

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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,484326,00.html

Some pranksters in Austin, TX had zombies on the brain when they decided to have some fun.  On Must Hear Long Play Thursday, Brass Construction’s self-titled debut dance funk classic.  Beware a throbbing bea(s)t lurks.

Brass Construction formed in Brooklyn, NY in 1968 when Randy Mueller joined up with some classmates.  Mueller was born and raised, until 1963 when his family moved to New York, in British Guyana where he played in steel bands.  He formed the Dynamic Soul with fellow high school students, including several others born in the Caribbean.  The band consisted of Wayne Parris, Michael Grudge, Joseph-Arthur Wong, Wade Williamston, Sandy Billups, Morris Price, Larry Payton, Jesse Ward, and Michael “Micky” Grudge.  In 1973, the group became Brass Construction.  By this point they had harnessed a blend of African, Caribbean, and American influences to create a potent pulsating dance beat.  Becoming the house band for Dock, Muller spread his talents liberally.  Brass Construction finally got their own record deal in 1975 on UA, which released Brass Construction in 1976.

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Opening strong with “Movin,'” which was a huge hit reaching number one R&B and number fourteen pop.  The throbbing beat is accentuated with punchy horns, strings, and high end synthesizer work.  Dubbed “Movin'” because the beat suggests moving, the groove does impel body parts to move.

“Peekin'” is a hilarious song about peeking at a girl.  While it may be sexist, or even creepy, in some respects, the chorus is also uproarious.

Brass Construction also charted with “Changin,'” which peaked at number twenty four R&B.  Their formula is pretty apparent by this point, but the grooves hold and the sound is rich.

“Love” is about you guessed it, love.  It is a real nice song with an appropriate warm sound.  The spiraling strings around the 2:30 mark lead to sustained plateau.  More cowbell!

“Talkin'” gets a bit sociopolitical.  The flute gets a chance to solo as well.

Commanding you to “Dance,” the band lays down another funky groove to close the record.  Complete with the fake crowd noise, the groove moves efficiently and infinitely.  It doesn’t end, only the recording does.  As an added bonus, the guitar gets dirty.

Brass Construction quickly fell to the disco bug.  Certainly, the sound disco mixed down is present on BC’s first album; however, the instruments play whole musical statements.  Thus, BC’s first release has the deep groove. Disco is the light groove, and the group’s future albums found them increasingly turning to this light side.  A good many number of funk/soul groups had dynamite initial releases, but struggled on subsequent ones.  It makes sense considering the fact that many of the groups go into the first album or few with material hammered out in front of audiences.  Thus, the songs had time to develop.  Once the back material is gone though many groups could come up with a hit or two, but could never generate enough good material for a whole album.  The rise of disco as a record-selling genre contributed to the demise due to the lure of dollars with even James Brown and P-Funk jumped aboard the disco train.  But, as I stated before, Brass Construction’s debut release is the unkut funk.  Enjoy.

Dead & Breakfast (Rambo On My Mind)

Posted in movies, zombies on January 6, 2009 by trapperKeeper

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Dead & Breakfast, a not so clever pun on Bed & Breakfast, is a horror-comedy of mixed results. Inspired heavily by Evil Dead and Braindead, Dead & Breakfast tries hard, but ultimately fails. It looks good and has a cast of decent actors, meaning none of them were so bad to take away from the on-screen action, nor so annoying that I had an unrelenting death wish upon said character).  Plus, there is an abundance of gore, but Dead & Breakfast tried to hard to be its’ influences and the wackiness was too forced. As a result, Dead & Breakfast lacked the zany spontaneity of its’ inspiration. The semi-original touches, the singing narrator and comic book transitions, are just throwaway fluff.

First, a synopsis of the plot. A group of six friends, are on a road trip to Galveston for a wedding when the driver Johnny (Oz Perkins) gets lost and stops at a gas station in the quiet town of Lovelock. This gas station serves the customary horror film role of directing the strangers to a local bed and breakfast. The gas station is also where the singing narrator Randall Keith Randall (Zach Selwyn), borrowed from the ancient Greeks) is introduced. As expected, thing go awry at the B&B. The owner, Mr. Wise (David Carradine), dies of an apparent heart attack and the French chef, Chef Henri (Diedrich Bader), is found stabbed to death. Of course, the local sheriff suspects the out of towners had something to do with the brutal incident. He also arrests a drifter for questioning. From here the story jumps to the evil spirit who turns the townies into zombies and wreaks havoc. Onward to a fuller discussion of the movie. Beware of spoilers.

The spirit, Kuman Thong, is able to possess the townspeople and turning them into zombies because Johnny, messing up once again, knocks over the spirit box breaking the seal and letting the spirit escape. Since, Johnny was the first person in contact with the unsealed spirit box, he becomes the head of the horde.

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Two of the crew go to the library to research Mr. Wise, who they are informed was seen performing some kind of black magic on a corpse they dug up. The records clerk (Miranda Bailey) is worried about something unholy being unleashed, but she is prepared. Extremely over the top, her character is reflective of the trying too hard film.

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Severed: Forest of the Dead (When Loggers & Tree Huggers Collide)

Posted in movies, zombies on January 5, 2009 by trapperKeeper

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Severed: Forest of the Dead is a mediocre film for a variety of reasons, which will be dealt with later.  But first a synopsis. Severed: Forest of the Dead (2005) is about a multi-national logging corporation, which is engaging in genetic engineering to increase tree yields. A hormone is injected into the base of the tree, allowing old growth sized trees in one-third of the time. Unfortunately, it also is responsible for turning humans into “zombies”, although there is no death and thus no reanimation, just a transformation from man into crazed flesh seeker. However, at the beginning none of this is known. All we know is that there is a group of loggers trying to do what they do, and a group of environmentalists against the logging. Tensions have been increasing between the two camps.

One logger is hurt by a spiked tree, which causes the chainsaw blade to shoot back and cut him. The cut is infected by the genetically spiked tree sap, which causes a transformation into rapacious zombie-like creatures, on the blades. Because of the close proximity of the other loggers and environmentalists the infection spreads quickly. In the chaos, communications are lost between the camp and headquarters and the surviving loggers and environmentalists have to work together.

When communications are lost with the camp, the owner and chairman of the corporation sends his son, who is not the most receptive to the idea, to check on the situation. The son discovers the logger and environmental camps abandoned, and soon the infected. Thankfully, he also runs into Luke, a survivor, who takes him back to others, including Mac the foreman, Carter the chemist, and Stacey the environmentalist, in the shelter.

After a brief rest, an attempt to make it to the son’s truck is decided upon. At this point, the movie becomes a traditional we need to get away before we get eaten affair. So, attempts at escape will mostly be futile, or we would have a short film experience. The whole group narrowly makes it to the truck only to discover they have been locked in. Yes, that’s right the company decided to cover up the incident, even forcing the chairman to sign on or risk losing his position despite the fact his son will be quarantined inside. We all know corporations would thankfully never do that in real life.

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With radio communications being cut off, the main road blocked and the next city being 200 miles away, too far away to attempt to reach on foot, the group should grow despondent at their fate.  However, Mac knows a back-road.  The group races  off towards freedom, only to find the road blocked by logs.  A helicopter from the corporation is heard overhead. The group seems hard of hearing, and doesn’t notice the helicopter for a while.

Once it is noticed, they begin to shout and wave at it hoping to draw its attention. Unfortunately, the attention they receive is a barrage of bullets.  Another group of other wood lurkers, runs up on them and gets them to safety. They offer them lodging and the opportunity to ride out the lock down . Off course, they also like to have some fun with the zombies, allowing a few into an enclosed area where one person gets to blast them with a shotgun. Barbaric it may be, but zombies are good for target practice and shooting is one of the only forms of entertainment they have.

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I Just Want Change! Spare Pity on a Zombie War Veteran (Agent Orange Mix)

Posted in humor, Music, Photos, zombies on November 14, 2008 by trapperKeeper

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The pictures are finally in from the night of the zombie film festival.  It was definitely a learning experience.  First, latex gets real itchy after 6 hours.  Second, I should have smuggled in alcohol.  Thirdly, the neck must be makeup-ed.  Lastly, wearing makeup is a strange experience.  While we all wear masks on the regular, this is the most personal mask upon the mask I have ever sported.  It was much different, and much more breathable, than more traditional creepy masks that have hidden my identity.

Beware meat eaters are on the prowl.  Repeat any suspicious activity.  Aim for the head.

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In honor the great zombie in the sky, here are some of my favorite zombie themed tracks.

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