Archive for the Football Category

Super Bowl Sunday: Who Will God Choose?

Posted in Football, humor, Music on February 1, 2009 by trapperKeeper

warner-milk

As all rational people know, God has a great interest in human’s sporting endeavors.  Earlier this year when Kurt Warner’s Cardinals were pitted against Jon Kitna’s Lions (yes that early into the season), God made Kurt his chosen one.  His grace stayed with the Cardinals, allowing them to sneak into the playoffs despite their mediocrity.  Their run of success in the playoffs notwithstanding, the Cardinals are not a good football team.  They are unable to win in the rain, snow and cold.  They were in the worst division in football and only managed 8 wins.  Yet, the parity of the NFL and the right run of luck have allowed them to make it into the bowl of all bowls, the Super Bowl!

Yes, already the greatest day of televised mankind, it is only getting better.  NBC has like nine hours of pregame coverage.  Every second of coverage it vital to peddling NBC shows and any other commercials they can manage to squeeze in.  The NFL on NBC has eleven hosts and commentators.  That is a lot of people to pay salaries and benefits to.  If humankind and the NFL survive for many more years perhaps future generations will see a pregame show with more commentators than actual players in the game.  A man can dream can’t he.  Plenty of segments could be thought up to make sure everyone gets to open their mouth at least once.  I would leave to see sideline reporters in a few bathrooms for a feature called “Drunk Talk.”

I hope for a good game with Fitzgerald ripping it up, but with the Steelers ultimately winning.  A Kurt Warner revival is not something I want to witness.  Soon, the commentators will only be able to drool over draft prospects and blather about mock drafts.  Here are two Super Bowl themed songs for the occasion.  Ozomatli’s “Super Bowl Sundae” featuring Charlie 2na and Peanut Butter Wolf’s remix of it.

http://www.divshare.com/download/6457348-2f8

http://www.divshare.com/download/6457349-4ee

Advertisements

The Real NFL Playoffs, Let the Toilet Bowl Begin!

Posted in Football, humor on January 1, 2009 by trapperKeeper

300_35326

In celebration of the NFL Playoffs (thank god I have something to live for), a major staple of the present day bread and circus I realized I wanted more.  College football is saddled with bowl games between mediocre teams.  Why not allow some light to shine on those Sadly, the the Arizona Cardinals made the real playoffs .  They are a garbage team incapable of winning in anything but ideal weather conditions.  If they weren’t in such a dump of a division they wouldn’t have made the playoffs, or won more than 6 games.  They beat Seattle twice, St. Louis twice and San Fran twice.  All three of those teams made the Toilet Bowl.  Arizona was the only team in the division to score more points than it gave up, and only achieving that number by the slimmest of margins (1).

On to the Toilet Bowl Playoffs brought to you by Lysol.

lg_power_toilet

Representing the NFC, you have the Lions, Rams, Seahawks, and the 49ers.

In the AFC, the Chiefs, Raiders, Bengals, and Browns represent the best of the worst.

The Lions would battle the Rams, who I believe are actually worse than the Lions.  Oh that would be a glorious football game.  The Seahawks and 49ers get to battle one more time.  The 49ers narrowly beat the Hawks the first time they met, and were destroyed by them in the subsequent battle.  A winner must be decided.  The loser of those games would go on face each other.  The format would be the same in the AFC.  The loser of the losers game from each conference would then square off to determine the biggest loser who would then face the Super Bowl champ.

Aren't You Intimidated

Continue reading

Time is an Illusion, only an Intrusion on the Eternal (ADT Home Security Mix)

Posted in Football, humor, life, Music on November 14, 2008 by trapperKeeper

kim-kardashian-grinding-reggie-bush_1_11

The grinding assault of underemployment, tenuous housing, stalled quest of advancement, uncertainty about the future, personally, nationally, and globally, drain the spiritual stockpiles.  Adding to weight of the present moment is an abundance of gray.  The sun is a .  Despite everything though, life has been quite solid with a sublime mixture of bittersweet absurdness with a sprinkling of melancholy and a healthy amount of walking.  Lungs full of fresh air, pine scented .  Much preferable to breathing car exhaust while engine smells attack smell receptor cells.  Plus trees don’t almost kill/maim you off by accelerating through the crosswalk.

Many photographs have been taken while I was out and about, plus the wonders of the natural world and meditative quality of walking has cultivated a batch of poems.  Everything was fueled by scads of music, so some luscious musical libations.  Enough of this hot air dispensing.  Backwards to the past!

time_machineReggie, I hope you’re relying on more than the Saint’s offensive line for protection.

http://www.divshare.com/download/5811338-fd4