The Real NFL Playoffs, Let the Toilet Bowl Begin!

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In celebration of the NFL Playoffs (thank god I have something to live for), a major staple of the present day bread and circus I realized I wanted more.  College football is saddled with bowl games between mediocre teams.  Why not allow some light to shine on those Sadly, the the Arizona Cardinals made the real playoffs .  They are a garbage team incapable of winning in anything but ideal weather conditions.  If they weren’t in such a dump of a division they wouldn’t have made the playoffs, or won more than 6 games.  They beat Seattle twice, St. Louis twice and San Fran twice.  All three of those teams made the Toilet Bowl.  Arizona was the only team in the division to score more points than it gave up, and only achieving that number by the slimmest of margins (1).

On to the Toilet Bowl Playoffs brought to you by Lysol.

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Representing the NFC, you have the Lions, Rams, Seahawks, and the 49ers.

In the AFC, the Chiefs, Raiders, Bengals, and Browns represent the best of the worst.

The Lions would battle the Rams, who I believe are actually worse than the Lions.  Oh that would be a glorious football game.  The Seahawks and 49ers get to battle one more time.  The 49ers narrowly beat the Hawks the first time they met, and were destroyed by them in the subsequent battle.  A winner must be decided.  The loser of those games would go on face each other.  The format would be the same in the AFC.  The loser of the losers game from each conference would then square off to determine the biggest loser who would then face the Super Bowl champ.

Aren't You Intimidated

The Bengals would face the Chiefs in a rematch of the last weekend’s classic.  Neither coach cared then, but would they now?  Probably not.  The Raiders and Browns get to show off their feared passing attacks.

Rod Marinelli would get the opportunity to dig for a few more weeks.  Perhaps, he could unearth some skeletons that would bring some life to the defense.  Send the scouts out looking for areas fertile in possessed skeletons, even more lethal than regular skeletons. Possessed skeletons don’t feel pain, they just bring it.  Like this one did to Buffalo Bill fans this year.

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A few Lions’ notes are needed.  I don’t care about them the way I used to, which is for the better, but I watched most of their games.  They are a fascinating organization to follow, and a shining example of incompetence, loyalty gone wrong, and living in an alternative reality.  William Ford is a benign version of George Bush.  Rob Parker’s question was hilarious, if a little unprofessional but it was fun.  I haven’t been following the press coverage too much, but this was only part of a long running feud.  I was only viewing the question in the lens of the present situation.  Still, he never said Joe Barry was a bad person, just stated, truly, that he is a lousy defensive coordinator.  The Lions were only the third team in history to give up more than 500 points in a season.  One last note, what a hilarious photo.  What is going through their minds right at that moment?  What would they say to each other if they knew what would become of them?

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